Numb

I'm writing this on Sunday evening, and I'm still trying to make sense of things. The shooting in Orlando was the first thing I read when I woke up, and I'm still not sure how to move forward.

I should be more angry. I should be in tears, railing against the hate of humanity, the senseless violence. I should be reaching out to everyone, getting comfort from the people around me and providing as much comfort as I can. Instead, all I feel is helpless.

I feel like there's nothing I can do, nothing tangible that I can do to make this kind of thing stop. I feel like I don't have a right to be angry on the behalf of people I've never met, who are part of a community that I've never fully been a member of. I find myself paralyzed, and I don't know how to move forward.

I can only pray for healing for the people affected by this tragedy. Even that feels like empty words, but I don't know what else I can offer.